Adoption and the Adoption Process

As we move along as parents, as adoptive parents,  I look back at the adoption process from a place that seems so near to it, yet also far removed.  The road to parenthood through adoption, resembles the road to natural parenthood as much as a dog resembles a cat.  The dog and the cat both walk on four legs, both have a tail, ears, nose, whiskers, yet both are fundamentally different. So too, the road to adoptive parenthood and natural  parenthood have similar hopes and dreams, similar love and desire for children, yet each path is fundamentally different.  That being said, what is the adoption process from my point of view?

The adoption process is: paperwork and hope, interviews and fears, hurry up and wait, time and tears It's set-backs and frustrations, possibilties and let-downs, depression and prayers. It's desire and love, isolation and self-doubt, it's aching and yearning, being broken and repaired.  It's darkeness and light, shadows and clear skies, it's joy and sadness, heartbreak and blessings.  It's all of this and so much more.   4.5 years of ups and downs, years spent in tearful prayer asking to recieve that which I desired most, not understanding the length of the wait, yet knowing a peace in the midst of that trumail that only God can give, culminated in the recieving of our greatest treasure on earth, our precious daughter.

It may seem strange to you, to hear that I was both anxious and at peace, trust me, it is a strange feeling to have had for so long, both emotions seem diametrically opposed to one another.  Yet, being anxious made me pray, praying brought me peace, I still felt anxiety, yet the peace that passes all understanding softened it, smoothed it and changed it.  It changed me.  Being an adoptive parent is it's own unique life-altering experience.  There is so much joy and love for this wonderful child we call our own, yet, at the same time, there is pain and sorrow felt for the loss the birth mom suffered when she, with tears wetting her cheeks, lovingly placed her flesh and blood in our arms to care for. 

For those in the adoption process, for those adoptive and birth families, for those reveling in an open-adoption, or living with a closed adoption, there will always be dual emotions involved.  There will always be the heartache of loss, and the happiness of dreams fulfilled.  There is no getting around those dual emotions, it they will forever be a part of life.  But, they don't have to be opposing forces, they don't have to claw a tear, fighting to dominate.  They can work together in harmony, holding each other up and creating a special, one-of-a-kind love.  The bond birth families and adoptive families share, is unique, eye-opening, shocking, amazing, and so incredibly beautiful.

Adoption and the adoption process is the single most nerve-whracking, difficult and lengthy endeavors I have ever endured,  and it also the most rewarding and wonderful one, one which I look forward to repeating as soon as we are able to, so that Emma can have a brother, or sister.

If you are thinking of adopting, if you feel that call yet have not made that leap of faith, stop thinking, just do it, answer that call.  Follow your heart and Gods direction and make that leap of faith.  I promise you that, though your finances and emotions will be depleted and altered, you will be replenished ten-fold, your cup will be filled to over-flowing, and you will not reget a single moment.