Simply To Wait

It feels rather strange to be sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring and our worker to say "you have been chosen".  It feels strange knowing that there is no more paperwork that needs to be filled out and turned in, no more letters or autobiographies to write  Nothing left to do for now but sit back and WAIT.

This is the real, official, "waiting to be chosen period".  I keep thinking there must be something we more should be doing, but there is not.  We have made it as far on this journey as we can go. We have made it to the starting line of parenthood and we are now just waiting for the signal that we can move forward towards the ultimate finish line, holding our child in our arms.

Will our journey end once we reach that finish line?  Not at all.  Parenthood, while the finish line for one part of our life journey, is simply the start of another grand adventure.  This leg of our journey to parenthood has been long and strenuous, fraught with trials and difficulties.  We have been raised high on hills of hope, and shattered in crevices of despair.  I feel sure that we will see more highs and feel more lows as the waiting continues, and I am OK with that. We cannot fully appreciate the joy of the moments of hope and wonder without also feeling the crushing pain of despair.

We know that our profile was requested at least once this past month.  While nothing came from it on our end, it is reassuring to know that we are at least being considered as prospective adoptive parents.  I'll admit that for a brief moment I felt despair when I found out that we had been looked at, but then passed over.  I thought, "what is wrong with us that we were not good enough for that womans child"?  But then a wave of peace washed over me and I realized that, while we were not chosen this time, we will be chosen when presented to just the right woman at just the right time.

I was once again filled with hope knowing that God is in control and He will lead the perfect mother to our profile in His perfect time.  I am content at this point simply to wait and allow God to work His perfect will in this wonderful adoption journey.