The Screening Tool

When we were just starting the adoption process with OA&FS, we were concerned with filling out the proper forms, getting our doctors to send in current medical history info, putting together our family profile, etc.  As we get closer to being in the pool, our focus has been on our autobiographies, our intro (Dear Birthmother) letter, the photo collage, all of which has finally been finished as approved, and the screening tool.  The screening tool is basically a list of the age group, gender, ethnicity, and alcohol/drug exposure level that you are OK with.  Sounds simple, right?  Not so much.  It lists: alcohol use, marijuana use, methamphetamine use, cocaine use, heroin use, prescription narcotics, tobacco, mental illness of birthparent, developmental disabilities of birthparent, and child with known medical condition, then asks you to choose what level of each you are OK with.

You can choose between: none, mild, moderate, and severe for each one.  But what do you choose?  Do you start with none to mild, or do you go ahead and choose moderate to severe?  Now, we all hope and pray that our children are born healthy, with no medical issues, but even with the best care in utero, our children may be born with a medical or mental handicap.  Besides, no situation falls perfectly into the parameters given, no two situations are exactly alike.  So what do you choose?   Not an easy decision to make.  Now, we can always adjust our parameters if, after a period of time in the pool, we are not getting any hits on our profile.  So, we decided to choose mostly mild on many aspects and moderate on a few.

We may or may not adjust our choices on the screening tool as time goes by, but I think, for the time being, we made the best choices for us.  I know that, regardless of our "choices" God will bring the right child into our lives at the right moment.  God already knows what our child will look like, who our child will be, what health issues, if any, our child will have.  God knows, far better they we, what we will be able to handle, what we are capable of.  This part of not knowing what will be, is very exciting to me.  The anticipation of finding out who our child will be, what he or she will look like, sound like, what our child will enjoy, what abilities he or she will possess, helps ease the strain of waiting.  Like a child at Christmas time, I eagerly, joyfully, look forward to the moment when I can see what was once hidden, when all the waiting is finally over and the mystery revealed, and I can hold my precious gift, my child, in my arms.