Homestudy Scheduled

After what seems to have been an endless wait, we finally have a date set for the first portion of our homestudy!  December 1st at 3:30 we will have our first home visit.  I can not even begin to describe how excited I am to finally have a date set!  It has felt that the more I want it, the longer things take.  It also seems like the longer our wait to become parents is, the shorter it is for those around us.  More and more friends, family, and acquaintances seem to be trying, and many succeeding, to start their families.

Each new announcement of a baby on the way comes with a mix of joy and happiness, and a stabbing pain in my heart.  I am happy for my friends and family, that will never change.  I also have to deal with the jealousy and pain at the fact that it is not yet my turn to become a mom.   When I hear of family trying to start their family my first thought is, "how wonderful", and the next is a gut-wrenching realization that they may well have a baby long before I will.  But I am still happy for them.

 I am always trying to focus on remaining happy and hopeful during our long journey.  I know that my turn will come in Gods time, and I need to accept that it will not be in my time.  We still have so much to get done, so much to get ready before we welcome a child.  So the wait is needed and important.  Yes, I wish I knew a timeline.  I wish I had some idea of how much longer the wait will be, but as that is impossible, I will continue to try to focus on enjoying each moment as it comes.

With that in mind, I will remain happy and excited that our homestudy is finally scheduled!  Such a huge weight lifted of my shoulders and a worry removed from my mind!  Each step forward, no matter how long it seems to take, is a cause for celebration.  Even if the celebrating is just me jumping up and down in my living room.  It 's the little things in life that mean the most.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  Proverbs 15:13

I want to keep a happy heart, not one filled with heartache.  So, while heartache will come, I will look to the God and try to refocus on the good that always remains not matter how difficult the circumstances or how long the wait.  I am looking forward to our homestudy and know that everything else will fall into place when it is meant to.