The bright side

There is a bright side I guess to not being able to have kids and people were quick to point this out. Things like; no periods, never having to buy tampons or pads, getting to keep my figure, etc. I, of course ,initially did not think of these kinds of things as perks, they were just another way of showing me how different I was.

I would gladly take on all of those things if it meant I could be a mother.I would happily have a period each month, even endure the cramps with a smile knowing that I might one day bear a child. I would happily take on all the annoying, painful things women go through if it meant I would one day have a child.

I hear women complain about the discomfort of pregnancy, the sleepless nights of waking up every two hours to pee, the hemeroids, the gas, the heartburn, the pain, the swelling of the legs, "pregnancy brain", morning sickness, excess hair, the list goes on and on. (Those who have been though pregnancy and child birth know what I am talking about)

I would, without hesitation, go through all that  knowing that in the end I would be blessed with a beautiful gift from God, a child. But, as I will never be able to become pregnant I will have to look at the bright side of being barren. I could sit and mourn for the loss of things I never had or I can move forward. I mourned for a long time and now its time to move on.

So, here is to looking at the bright side of things. I will never have to wear "period panties", I will never have to worry about having enough tampons or pads, I will never have to send my husband into the store for midol and maxis (a perk I am sure he is thankful for). I will never have stretch marks, I will never have to worry about my feet spreading from pregnancy, I will never have to worry about my boobs sagging and deflating after breast-feeding.

Great perks in a way but still things I would give anything for. I still long for those irritating, annoying, painful things but I am also happy to just be me. The children God has waiting for me will always be children of my heart and will know that while I did not give birth to them, they are chosen and sacred and loved.

This poem says it all:

Not flesh of my flesh
Not bone of my bone,
but still miraculously  my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You did not grow under my heart,
But in it.
Author unknown.

God has blessed me beyond measure and I know He has more blessings waiting for me for when the time is right. I will strive to always look on the bright side of this amazing journey knowing that God is in control even during those moments when I cant see past my own desires. :)