Openness

I know I have written before about open adoption and why it is a good thing, but, as I was reading "LifeLines," a magazine for adoptive families, I came across an article that I loved and would like to share some of it with you.  There are many fears about open adoption and most are based on myths.  Here are some of the ones listed in the article:

Parties in open (fully disclosed) adoptions are not confused about their parenting rights and responsibilities.


Birthmothers do not attempt to "reclaim" their children.


Children in open (fully disclosed) adoptions are not confused about who their parents are.  They do understand the different roles of adoptive and birthparents in their lives. 


Differences in adolescent adoptive identity or degree of preoccupation with adoption are not related to the level of openness in the adoption. 


Adoptive openness does not appear to influence an adoptee's self-esteem in any negative way. 


Adoptive parents in open adoptions do not feel less in control.  They have a greater sense of permanence in their relationship with their child. 


Open adoption does not interfere with adoptive parents' sense that they have the right to parent their adopted child.


Birthmothers in open and ongoing mediated adoptions do not have more problems with grief resolution.  Rather, the show better grief resolution than those in closed adoptions. Researchers did find that birthmothers in time-limited mediated adoptions (where contact stopped) had more difficulty resolving grief... 
                       Katie Smith "Open Adoption." LifeLines Spring 2012: pg 20. Print 


I have to admit, some of these fears have crossed my mind as we pursue an open adoption.  I think that it is normal to have those fears and I am glad that I am not the only one that has ever felt them.  I am also glad that their is evidence that these fears are unfounded and I can rest easy knowing that we are doing the right thing by pursuing openness in our adoption.  


So, if any of you reading this had any doubts or fears regarding the path we have chosen, I hope what I have shared here has helped to allay those fears and doubts. 


(On a side note, we sent off our check to be in the pool of waiting families! We should be in that pool in a few short weeks! )


But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  James 1:6