Learning Who I Am

During our adoption journey I have had to look inside myself and find out who I really am.  It is not always pleasant and I do not always like what I see.  I have learned that I am not always as patient as I wish to be.  I am occasionally selfish and sometimes really hard to deal with.  I am sometimes demanding and often emotional.  But that is not all of who I am.  It is a small part of me and I have also learned some surprisingly good things about myself.

I have learned that, even when things seem impossible, I persevere.  I am more optimistic than I had ever realized.  I have more strength than I thought possible.  I have learned that I can be heartbroken, time and time again, and still have hope.  I have learned that I am able to forgive almost anything.  I have learned that God is always there, even in the darkest moments.

I have come to realize that each experience in my life has added something to my personality and made me who and what I am.  Everything in my life, whether good or bad, has helped me grow into the woman I have become.  I would not change any of my experiences as they all have taught me so many things.  Some have taught me pain, some love, some hope, some patience, some perseverance, some joy.  All have taught me the perfectness of imperfection.

I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go before I am the woman I am meant to be.  But I am striving to learn to live in the moment, to let go and let God, and accept all that God has for me in life.  I hope that I am able to take all that I have learned in life and use it to be a good mother to my children.

While the wait to become a mother at times seems endless, and things do not always go as smoothly as I would like, I know that it is all going according to Gods plan.  I may want certain things at certain times, but God knows best and He only gives us what we truly need when we truly need it. I am learning to accept His timing in this adoption journey.  As I wait to become a mother, I pray that I gain more patience and strength to endure whatever comes.

May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from His glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience.  Colossians 1:11


I look forward to learning more about myself as we walk this path and I will strive  to endure the wait with patience and lean on Gods strength to carry me through.