Baby Time!

Our wonderful expectant mother called and informed us that, as she is a week over-due and she is dilated and having mild contractions, she is being induced on Friday! Of course, we have no way of knowing for sure when this little one will make his or her debut. I am so excited! I can not wait to meet this precious little one!  I am also thrilled that we know when we will be leaving and can prepare without feeling rushed.  I am amazed that this moment is finally here, in a few short days I will be meeting the angel we have been waiting for!

I admit to having a mild panic attack on the way home from work the other night.  I could not help feeling inadequate and unprepared. What if I am not a good mom? What if I screw up?   What if, what if, what if... a million what if's raced through my panic stricken mind.  Am I capable of taking care of a baby, will I be a good mom, will our baby feel and know how much he or she is loved?  I hope I am able to be everything our baby needs me to be.

I know that our expectant mom may still change her mind, so I am trying to temper my excitement and prepare my heart for the possibility that we may not be bringing him or her home.  I know that however it turns out, it will be Gods will.  Yes, I will be devastated and heartbroken if she does change her mind, but I know that God is in control and will rely on His strength to get me through. 

I pray that God gives me the strength and grace to endure if we end up coming home empty handed.  I pray he gives me the peace and know-how I will need if we are blessed enough to bring our angel home.  Regardless of the outcome, I know that I am unable to handle it all on my own, and I know God will be there to help me through.