Pump It

February 1st, I started pumping to induce lactation.   I started slow, 2-3 times a day, and have worked my way up to 4-5 times a day.  Eventually I plan on pumping 5-6 times a day and adding in 2-3 times at night.  I pump for a minimum of 20 minutes.  Yes, it seems like a LOT of pumping, and, I admit, it is sometimes daunting and frustrating.  But, I have to focus on the future and what being able to breastfeed will mean to me and my child.  

The first day I pumped, the very first time I turned that boob sucker on, I saw this clear/yellowish liquid, about a tsp of it, in the breast shields after about ten minutes of pumping.  I admit to being a little weirded out by it and had to research what it might be.  Thanks to some great websites and a group of lovely breastfeeding mamas, I learned that liquid is called colostrum.  Most of you will know what that is but for those that don't, here is the Bing Dictionary definition: a yellowish fluid rich in anti-bodies and minerals that a mothers breasts produce after giving birth and before the production of true milk. It provides with immunity to infection.  

(Sorry if that grossed you out but, it is natural and I am not ashamed to share it.)

Once I knew what it was, I was beyond happy.  I literally jumped up and down with joy and could not stop smiling.  What an absolutely amazing thing to see first time pumping.  Now, I do not get colostrum every time I pump.  There are full days where I do not get anything at all.  But, there are those moments when I get a little bit of colostrum again, not much and not enough to save, maybe about 1/4 a tsp or just a few drops, and those moments are worth the effort.  I know it may take a few months to see actual milk or enough colostrum to save and that is OK. 

I admit that on the days I do not get anything at all, I feel discouraged and wonder if the effort and time are worth it.  On those days, while pumping, the sound the pump makes seems to mock me saying, "no milk, no milk, no milk."  During those moments, even though I feel like breaking down and crying, I try to focus on the reason I am doing this.  To give my child the best nutrition possible and, in doing so, creating bond that will last a lifetime.  

I sometimes feel like I am failing and get overwhelmed and discouraged.  In those moments of pain, I work at changing my thoughts, switching my focus from all that is going on today, and looking instead, to the future.  I have to remind myself of the reason I am doing this, realizing that it will take time and effort, but it will be worth it.  After all, nothing worth having comes easily and there are those moments when I do get something.  So, I will continue to pump, and pump often (I am pumping as I type this,) and pray that one day I will see the fruits of my labor.  

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayers and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7