Motherhood - Things I have Learned

There are so many things we learn or re-learn when we become others. Here is a small list of the few I have learned:



1. Sleep is for the weak. I mean, who really needs 8 hours a night?  Moms, and dads, are superhuman and can survive, even thrive, on 3-5.



2. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.  You never know when the next chance will present itself and the need to go will inevitably occur, or increase drastically, when you have a soundly sleeping child on your chest.



3. Never get too comfortable with your child's nap or sleep schedule.  The moment you do, it will change and you will find yourself wondering how to get them to go back to their routine, and do your best to adjust to their new schedule. (hint: you wont be able to before it changes again.)



4. Never wear white when you have small children.  Those cute pants that looked great when you put them on?  They will end up with chocolate, Cheetos or honey hand prints on them.  That lacy white top?  Covered in snot, or r torn by razor sharp, but cute, little nails.  Come to think of it, just plan on never wearing white again, at least until all your children are grown and out of the house.


5. There will be clutter, a lot of clutter, when it comes to our childrens toys.  Oh sure, we can organize, and organize, and clean, and clean, and... but there will be stacks of toys where you used to have a cute pottery dish or magazine rack.  The toys never stop flowing in.  Daily it seems they multiply.  But you don't mind really, not too much anyway, as you know one day the toys will be gone.



6. Potty training is tough, on the parents.  I mean, it is hard to train a child to rush to a bathroom in the middle of the play time, or to wake enough to from a nap to go, instead of just going right there, diaper or no.  If a kid doesn't want to go on the potty, rarely is there much that can coax them to do so.  It can be frustrating!   That is tough on everyone but, for parents, while it is a longed for milestone, it is also a bittersweet one once we realize we have changed our last diaper.


7. Then comes that hard part, teaching your child how to wipe.  Once we have gotten used to the fact that there are no more diapers to change, we rejoice that butt wiping is finally coming to an end! Or is it?  Our child can now hop up on the toilet without help, yet it still takes months, or years, to teach them how to wipe well enough that there are no drippies or streaks in their adorable character undies.  You sit down to take a sip of coffee and hear, "I'm doooone!"  Oh joy, another day where coffee is had cold, or not at all...


8. When your child is congested due to colds or allergies, facepaint does not last.  It ends up smeared, caked in snot, and all over your clothing and your childs hands. 


9. You will get "baby fever" shortly after your child is 6 months old, and it will last for a while.  The sweet baby snuggles are gone in an instant, and you will want more of them.  You will love your child more and more each day, but you will still want another one to hold and nurture.


10.  Your child will drive you crazy sometimes, but you will still love him or her fiercely!


11.  You will have days when you feel so inadequate as a mom, that you will question if you are doing anything, anything at all, right.  You will ache to be better at this whole parenting thing, Then your child will smile at you, for no reason, and you will realize you are doing just fine.


12.  There will be days that all you want to do is hide in a corner and cry.  Maybe for a good reason, sometimes for no apparent one, but tears of frustration, sadness, pain, anger, happiness, joy, and love, are free flowing when you have a child.  And that is perfectly okay.


13.  You will fully realize the depth of love your mother has for you, you will finally grasp just how hard she worked taking care of you, and you will love her all the more.  You will hope to someday be as good a parent as your mom is, to be able to care for your child with as much, faith, love, patience, and understanding as she did. And you will look to her constantly for advice.  You will rejoice when you open your mouth one day and you hear your mother come out.  I know I will have accomplished something great if I can be half the mom to my daughter as my mother is to me.  I love you mom!!!!


This is, obviously, just a very small list of things we learn once we become moms.  There is so much more, and some you just cant articulate well.  I am forever grateful my mother, who taught me how to be a mom, for Alison, who gifted me with my daughter and let me be a mom, and for my daughter, who is the reason I am a mom, and who I hope will forever know how hard I tried and how much I love her!


Happy Mothers Day!!

Potty Training: Success!

We had been preparing for a while to potty train Emma, started buying cute little undies, bought the little potty-chair, and talked of how awesome going on the potty-chair would be. Yet, every time I would try it out, things just would not go well. She would seem interested and want to wear her pretty panties, for about 3 hours or so. Then, no interest at all, no amount of bribing or reminding her that she would get a new "big girl" bed would convince her.. I felt like a was failing at this most basic task. Friends with kids younger were posting about their childs accomplishments in the potty-training arena, and I could not help but wonder why my child was not interested. Then, it happened. I finally conviced her that is was time to start and gave her plenty of notice before we dove into it. And she was not only on board with the idea, she exceeded my wildest hopes of training in 3-5 days. Initially, I had planned on her being in her undies while awake, pull-ups for naps and bedtime only, or for trips away from the house that might take more than 15 minutes. But, as she took right to potty training, with only one minor accident that very first day, I left her in undies all day, even during naps and excursion away from home. She did great!!! Trip to the bakery, no accidents. Trip to the grocery store, no accidents. Trip to Cescent City and back, no accidents. I was so amazed. Yes, she switched back and forth between pull-ups and undies at bedtime, with the occasional wet pull-up or soaked bedding, but it happened less and less in just a few short weeks. The past week, only one, very minor, as in drops really, bedtime accident, and she stays in undies. She has been waking up at 3a or so to go potty, then rigt back to sleep. Now, I know that there will most likely be the occasional accident, after all, those can happen for a while to even those that have been potty-trained for months. But I am not worried up those. Right now, I am just so amazed and impressed with my little girl! I never once thought that getting her switched from diapers to undies would take so little effort, or that I would feel such a mixture of emotions about it. I changed my last pull-up for her on May 10h. And the pull-up was dry. I am happy and oddly sad all at once. Okay, maybe it is not so much sad as it is bittersweet. Each stride she makes, each new thing she learns to do on her own, is so important, and so very much reminds me that, all too soon, she will not "need" me hardly at all. Which will make me happy, and miss being needed, and proud, and wish she still was a little girl so I could snuggle her without protest again. I never really thought of the emotional aspect of potty-training before, and only fully realized it when, in the beginning, Emma would ask to be in a pull-up at night. Not because she truly needed it most nights, but because she was not fully ready emotionally to give up them up entirely. A fact made pignantly clear when I told her that I was going to give them to a baby that needed them and she started crying and said; "but I'm not a big girl yet. I still need them." My heart broke. Yes, she did not truly, physically need them much, if at all, but she was still not emotionally ready to let go of the "baby" side of life and become the "big girl" she now was. I put her in pull-ups that night, and any night after that she asked. Now, if I try to put them on her for bedtime, just in case, so that the babysitter would not need to change out sheets the next day (she only got/gets pull-ups on the night before Josh and I are both gone to work before she wakes)she cries and asks to stay in her undies. She is a "big girl" now and she loves it! Now, we are looking at new beds and I am going to start gathering materials to make her the canopy she wants. I may even talk to her daddy about changing up the wall colors and stickers for her. She wants pink walls with grey stripes. We may be able to do that. :) I am so blessed by this little girl that takes each day head on, and when she is ready for the next step in growing up, she dives for it, tackling it with relative ease. I can learn a lot from her and how she handles so many things. I may be one of her teachers, but she teaches me as much, if not more, than I could ever teach her!

Letting Go Of Pinterest Perfection

I love Pinterest! It is so awesome! All the ideas for arts, and crafts, and birthday party planning, just so cool! It is also the bane of my existence. I loathe browsing it, even as I get so excited to start my search for the next project to attempt, and ultimately fail at. Don't get me wrong, I have sorta, kinda, basically, succeeded in a few projects I found there. But what I see posted, and what I end up with are so vastly different that I am left feeling underwhelmed and disheartened. Knowing that I am not great at those types of things, yet still wanting so badly to be the quintessential "Pinterest mom," I pushed myself for the past two years to do as much as possible. If I simply tried hard enough I could be that mom, right? After all, all my sisters and friends with kids were posting their amazing skills,why should I be any different? Ha! That struggle left me feeling so inadequate, and forgetting what I AM good at. The things that God gave me talent in are not found on Pinterest. They are not highlighted in FB posts, or Instagram photos. No, the things I am good at are unique to me and are not even remotely Pinterest/FB/Instagram worthy. And that is okay. It is okay that the only handmade clothing item she will ever get from me is no-sew tutu's. It is okay that I cant bake cakes that look like they came from a fancy cake shop. It is okay that her birthdays will not be lavish and have extremely well planned games/activities/etc. It is also okay that I am not good at arts and crafts and, therefore, she will not do a tone of them when I am home. I have decided to let go of being the perfect Pinterest mom, and focus on being a godly one. One centered in the love and grace of the Holy Spirit. One that remembers and embraces the gifts I have that my daughter actually needs. The gifts God gave me knowing that they were the perfect ones for the child He chose to be mine. I am by no means a perfect mother, but I am also not a bad one. I have a wonderful child, the most precious gift from God I could ever imagine receiving, and I want her to have a mom that is happy and focused on her ultimate well-being, not distracted by trying to be something she is not. Ahhhh, the relief of losing that feeling like I had to try so hard to be like those around me. A great weight lifted from my shoulders the day I decided to let that go. My daughter has benefited, and so have I, in so many ways! That's not to say that I wont turn to Pinterest now and then for some inspiration, just that I wont be obsessed with trying to do it all and be everything Pinterest, and sometimes the outside world, thinks I should be. If you are one of those blessed with all the talent and creative abilities seen on Pinterest, awesome! You are an inspiration!! If you are like me, and have as much creative talent as a box of rocks, take heart! There is more to being a mom then being able to sew outfits, bake cakes, or do crafts. Relearn YOU and what YOU are good at. Do those things and focus on being a mom after Gods heart, and you will be a happier, more centered mom. So, goodbye Pinterest/FB/Instagram worthy perfection, and hello to heaven worthy, messy, motherhood!

My Little Girl

What do I see when I look at you,  my little girl?  It is not 4.5 years of tearful prayers.  Not mountains of paperwork or unspoken fears.  It is not heartbreak, or sorrow, or dreams on hold.  Not mistakes, or trials, or paths untread.  It is not thoughts of despair when things seemed to unravel.  No, none of things are see by me when I look at the little girl in front of me.

What do I see?  I see a precious gift from God.  I see a little girl who is stubborn and strong.  I see a little girl whose thirst for life and trying new things is as intoxicating as it can be overwhelming.  I see a little girl that adores tutus and the colors of the rainbow, yet isn't afraid of getting dirty and covered in mud.  I see a little girl who is kindhearted, compassionate, and empathetic.  I see a little girl that cares for her dolls and teddy bears with tenderness and love.  I see a little girl who will patiently pick off all the rough and "pokey" edges of a piece of popcorn prior to eating it.  I see a little girl that is so very independent, yet still craves and needs help from mommy and daddy.

I see a little girl that can throw epic tantrums, and then act like nothing ever happened in just a few minutes.  I see a little girl that cries when mommy blows her nose as she thinks I might be in pain.  I see that little bundle of joy from the delivery room, so innocent and trusting.  I see the love that surrounds you and the hope for your future.  I see your potential, your grace and love within.  I see your intelligence and curiosity.  I see all you are and may one day be.  I see you making as big of a difference in the world as you have made in the lives of all those blessed enough to know you.  I see a glimpse of Heaven each time I look in your eyes, hold you close, or feel your head on my shoulder.  I see wonderful, miraculous, perfect, YOU!

My little girl, when I look at you, I see all of this and so much more.  I know you may never fully understand, not until you have child of your own, just how precious you are to me.  Whenever you struggle with feelings of inadequacy, or wonder if you matter to anyone or if you make a difference, read this and be reminded of what a special gift you are.  Even the smallest drop of rain makes a ripple.  You matter to more people, touching their hearts and minds, than you could ever know.  Never give up on yourself or your dreams.  Continue to pursue them with as much dedication and passion as you do now.  You were born for greatness, you carry it inside you like a light.  Let your light shine, my sweet One!

You are my sunshine when the clouds cover the sky, the light in my world when all else seems gray.  You are such a wonderful gift, you are and will always be, My Little Girl.

24 Months aka 2 Years

Yes, our precious little gift turned 2 on the 8th!  We celebrated with a VeggieTales party at Rebel Bricks in Grants Pass.  Emma was once again spoiled by friends and family, getting tons of clothing and books, blankets, educational toys, etc.  She is also surrounded by love.  Love from Alison, love from us, love from all of her extended friends and family.  She will never be without love.  And that is so very important, love is, after all, the very best gift one can give.

When Emma was placed in our arms 2 years ago, to love, cherish, protect, and care for, she was placed  into our hearts as well as the hearts of our large, and ever growing, family.  She is as much a part of us as she would be had she grown under my heart instead of in it, and she is also a part of Alison and all of Alison's family.  That will never change, and for that I am truly thankful.  We wish to get to know all of Alison's family, to love as our own for that is what they are now.  Their family, and ours, did not just grow by one, it grew by every aunt, uncle, cousin, niece, nephew, grandma, grandpa, nana, papa, brother and sister that each of us has.  It amazes me how the birth of one small child, did not just make us parents, it blessed us with whole new group of people that we get to love and call family.

I don't expect things to always be easy, paving the road to lasting connections takes a lot of time, effort, love, and patience, and it will probably come with plenty of set-backs.  But, as long as we all are willing to try, to take the time, to forgive when needed, to accept forgiveness, to love and allow ourselves to be loved, it will be worth the effort and Emma will reap the benefits.  To all the wonderful people that we get to call family, whether we know you well or are still waiting to meet you, thank you for being in our lives.  Thank you for all the memories already made, and for those we have yet to make.  Each of you is loved and cherished, and have made these first two years of Emma's life beyond amazing.  Parenthood is sometimes tough, and messy, and frustrating, but having such wonderful people around has made even the roughest days seem at least a little bit easier.

I look forward to the grand adventures that wait for us in the coming year with our precious daughter!

(Emma in my arms on the day she was born and on her 2nd birthday.)

Do You Want to Come and Snuggle

So, every where I look I see different versions of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" (if you don't know what that is, you need to watch Frozen.)  After seeing a few versions, I decided to write a version of my own.  What I ended up writing was not what I had originally pictured in my head, but when I sat down to write it, it just kinda poured out.  I meant to write a funny version, I even had one of the lines in my head for a few days.  This one though, it truly meant something, made me feel something.  It highlights every moms desire to have their babies stay babies just a little longer, to want to sit still and be held just a few more minutes.  Little ones grow up so very fast, we need to focus on each beautiful moment with them and make it count.  So moms (and dads) whether your little one/s are still very small, or grown up and having babies of their own, this one is for you. Enjoy!

"Do You Want to Come and Snuggle?" (To the tune of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?")

Do you want to come and snuggle?
Or ride my back like a horsey?
You never cuddle anymore,
You’re out the door, running around like crazy!

You used to be so snuggly,
And now you’re not.
I think that I know why...

Do you want to come and snuggle?
Come on sit down and snuggle.
Please just try.

Do you want to come and snuggle?
Mom wants to hold you close,
I think some cuddling is overdue,
I’ve started talking to the teddies on the couch!
“Is that right, Pooh?”

It gets a little lonely,
Sitting here alone
Watching you run and play.

Please, I know you want to
Mommies snuggles are the best
You say “I’m busy” and I understand
You’re growing up, becoming independent
I love you more than life itself,
And when you’re all grown up,
What am I gonna do?

Do you want to come and snuggle?
Author: Carole Rush

23 Months

I can't believe that in less than a month, our little girl will be 2 years old!  This is so unreal!!!  She is growing up way too much!  Each day is something new, a new sentence, a new "favorite", a new skill mastered.  Emma already knows when and how to use her "inside" voice, not that she always wants to use it, but she knows it.  She is also stubborn, independent  and vocal about what she wants and doesn't want.  There are times she happily tells you she needs a diaper change, and then there are times she runs and hides hoping to not stop playing long enough to get changed.  

Oh, and the picky, ever changing appetite of toddlerdom is in full force.  One day she loves oranges, the next she wont touch them.  It is a blast trying to figure out what she will want to eat from one meal to the next... At least she always is happy to eat some form of fruits and veggies at most meals.  We are working on her not throwing her food on the floor if she does not want it though.  I know, good luck.  It is definitely a work in progress...  

On the plus side, naps and bedtime right now are mostly easy, she will tell you when she is tired and needs to go to sleep.  I pray that this is a trend that continues as it is nice not having to struggle to get her down.  I know it may not last much longer, but I will revel in it as long as I can.  Of course, she is back to her pre-dawn wake-ups, which will only be worse come daylight savings time... I do like when she is up before 7, I feel like the days is wasted if things are not done before noon, but I do wish she would sleep just a little bit past  6a.  I do like my early morning snuggles though, they make be happy no matter how tired I am.  

She is still not potty trained yet.  I am waiting for her to be fully ready, I dont want to rush things.  I have started stocking up on undies as we will be doing the three day method, no pull-ups, when we do finally start.  I look forward to it and I dread it all at the same time.  Each time she learns to do something by herself, she moves further away from needing me so much.  Oh I know, no matter how old she gets, she will always needs me but, it is bittersweet all the same.  I do love watching her grow and learn and discover who she is though, it is amazing to witness that transformation!  

Motherhood is such an amazing gift!  It is tough, and tiring and frustrating. but it is also wonderful, and charming, and incredibly beautiful!